Woman of StyleSubstanceSoul: Gabrielle Thomas, Founder of My Beauty
What was your motivation to start My Beauty?
The program is called My Beauty because we are empowering girls to remain true to their individual talents and traits, and set their own standards, rather than conforming to the socially-constructed ideals of beauty. We all have issues as teenagers — mine was low self-esteem. I didn’t know how to handle all the changes that were going on with my body. My mom did the best she could but, you know, you’re a teenager, and you feel like no one else understands. So what I wanted to do was create a program for girls to show them they weren’t going through any of these things alone. We are a resource for them if they have questions about developmental changes, peer pressure, self-esteem, body image, all those types of issues.
How has My Beauty evolved and changed from concept to reality?
We started off as a one-day workshop with 50 girls, and now we work with over 3,000 girls, so we’ve been able to really make an impact in the community. 
And the workshops have become more in-depth. The research I did while I was getting my bachelor’s degree in Women’s Studies at UCLA was all about teens, technology and sex – how teenagers are adversely affected by media images, especially online, and how dangerous social media sites can be for teenage girls — and I’ve been able to translate that into the work that I do.
As a former teenage girl and current mother of teenage girls I appreciate that, internally, the feelings and the process of coming of age remains the same, but the outside world has changed so much. What’s your take on that?
Curiosity about your own sexuality has always been there — that’s a constant — but the technology of Facebook and MySpace now allows you to post the results of that curiosity in the form of provocative sexual poses pictures or stories, for the world to see. I am really passionate about online social media sites. They are so fresh and so new and so many young girls are going on there; they aren’t even 12 or 13 years old and they are pretending to be 19 or 20. Trying out different identities online is a way for them to broadcast and act out on what they are feeling, and it is very dangerous.
The images in the media, targeting females of every age, are so intense – the peer pressure is so intense – it seems that really all girls are at risk.
It is true. The girls in Beverly Hills who have the money to get nose jobs and boob jobs are at risk as much as the girls from Compton who we work with. I always say we work with girls from the ‘hood to Brentwood, and when we bring them together, we find that the issues are universal. They transcend any county line or color line. The goal of My Beauty is to give these girls a common ground to show them they are not alone. My Beauty is really all about identity, about being your own person. Your different aspects are what make you whole; you don’t have to be one thing all the time. I feel like what happens with teenagers is they have different “personalities” although they are really all of them, of course. They are experimenting, learning to come to grips with their identity, asking “Who am I? Am I funny? Am I sad? Am I a bitch sometimes? Am I a cool chick? How do I want to be perceived?” I feel like a lot of times, girls adopt different characteristics from what they see and what they perceive to be cool. My Beauty helps them realize that if you want to be happy one day and sad the next, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you have lost yourself.
So what words of wisdom do you have for the teenager inside every middle-aged woman who is struggling with the different identities of daughter, professional, wife, mother?
I would say the same thing I say to my girls now: just love yourself. Try to be the best person you can be at all times. Don’t judge yourself, don’t judge others and just love yourself.
And what would you say to mothers of today’s teenage girls?
What I hear a lot from my girls is that their parents project their insecurities or desires on to them. Almost like living vicariously through them, trying to fix all the things they wish they could have done as a teenager. So, for example, if you wanted to be a cheerleader and your daughter is now in high school and you’re pushing her to be a cheerleader, I would say to stop and really listen to what she is telling you. Listen hard and listen a lot because girls want – need — to be heard. The friends that your kids keep are really critical, too; you need to know them and their parents. My mom never knew the parents of the kids I was friends with — she never bothered to ask — and we did all kinds of crazy stuff at my friends’ houses when their parents weren’t home!
Today, it’s also important to stay up to date on technology. There are websites where you can learn the different abbreviations kids are using in text and online like lol (laughing out loud), ttyl (talk to you later). There are a lot of dangerous codes.
If you could change one thing in media or pop culture that is damaging to women, what would it be?
MUSIC VIDEOS! Seriously I can’t stand all those music videos showing girls shaking their butts and being objectified. I wish that would change immediately. There is nothing new original or creative about it. Sex sells and young girls are watching those, thinking that’s what men want. Pop stars, you have to be responsible. You know who your audience is. If you put yourself out there as a role model for girls, then don’t make socially irresponsible music. I may have it in me to be wild and to go out and have a good time, but because I put myself out there as a role model for young girls, you won’t catch me acting crazy and putting myself in precarious situations. You just won’t find that, even though it’s not always easy for me.
Speaking about not easy, you are about to embark on a new adventure. Tell us about it!
I am going for my master’s degree at Harvard this fall in a program called Prevention Science and Practice in Adolescence. My work is getting more research- based, and I am compiling data and statistics in order to see what the real problems are, how we can address and fix them and how we can make a real impact.
What is Harvard going to unlock for you in addition to a fabulous education and experience? What do you think it will do for you, your message and the teens in your life?
Well, I try to lead by example so, number one, they will say, “Wow, look at this, girls. She came from nowhere and she wound up going to Harvard. I can, too!” Secondly, I am writing books and, with Harvard Press, I know there is a lot of support there as far as publishing goes. The network is very powerful. I am looking forward to building a new network. Also, I will be closer to Washington, D.C. and am confident I will be working with Michelle Obama, and Sasha and Melia at some point. There are a lot of things I hope Harvard will open the door for.
Do they know what they are in for when you get there?!
They’ll know when they get into my classroom.
Learn more about Gabrielle and My Beauty at http://www.mybeautycamp.com/.
The eSSSence of Gabrielle Thomas
Style: I like to be comfortable, and you’ll catch me in my yoga outfit almost everyday. But I also love to get dressed up. I love classic clothes, and looking elegant, polished and refined.
Substance: I live by what my Grandpa told me: “Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody is looking.”
Soul: My favorite Bible verse is Psalms 91:11. He will give His angels charge over you to protect you in all your ways, they will carry you in their arms lest you dash your foot against a stone.
This is a fabulous idea and only wish My Beauty would reach the teenage girls down here in South Florida (or across the country)! Keep up the good work and best of luck in your graduate work.
I agree with the comments and direction that leads Gabrielle in her journey to assist others. We all should seek better ways to understand the complex issues young men and woman face. I believe Gabrielle has a program that can be put into motion nation wide. Continued Success!