Not Forgotten: A Poem by Sheila Packa
For me, this book of poems grapples with fear. I’ve arranged the poems into three sections: “bear,” “wing,” and “cloud.” The poems in the first section are about encounters: fear of the wilderness, especially bears, fear of women, and fear of relationships. The pomegranate, the myth of Persephone, and the migration of Persephone between her husband in Hades and her mother enter into the book. Up until now, I hadn’t considered the interpretation of Persephone “going home to mother.” Some of the poems in Cloud Birds are about women moving through violence; all of the poems are about moving through fear.
This is not about victimization, but about learning how to walk through violence and fear and get beyond it. My grandmother on my mother’s side survived spousal abuse. I had a brief marriage, at age 20, to a man who, on our honeymoon, kicked me because the suitcase was not packed correctly. I have known so many who have suffered and even lost their lives to this violence. The poem, Not Forgotten, is an image I was able to reach for and help myself keep going and get beyond fear.
Not Forgotten
I learned to ride
the two wheel bicycle
with my father.
He oiled the chain
clothes-pinned playing cards
to the spokes, put on the basket
to carry my lunch.
By his side, I learned balance
and took on speed
centered behind the wide
handlebars, my hands
on the white grips
my feet pedaling.
One moment he was
holding me up
and the next moment
although I didn’t know it
he had let go.
When I wobbled, suddenly
afraid, he yelled keep going—
keep going!
Beneath the trees in the driveway
the distance increasing between us
I eventually rode until he was out of sight.
I counted on him.
That he could hold me was a given
that he could release me was a gift.
The eSSSence of Sheila Packa
Style: I wear good walking shoes and carry a bag that will fit my writing journal.
Substance: I spend a lot of time walking and working in my studio. I believe that if you are talking, you aren't listening.
Soul: My motto is "Look deeper." Writing is my spiritual practice. Truly, it's the best way to navigate changes in life.
as soon as i began reading this poem, i felt my own dad steadying my bike! beautiful.
Taking an online Leadership Style and Development class, I ran into a poet who is a fellow classmate online. I sent her the poem, mentioned that this conceptual poem can “mitigate fear, and help to maintain balance” retrospectively as a child and a mother. We lead ourselves by our actions into new frontiers, and we are leaders as parents, of even when in a position to release our offspring to experience those very own adventures. Thanks to our esteemed Poet Laureate for the real midwifery of this creative endeavor.