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matters that matter: We’re so proud to launch this regular new column by Molly Davis and Kristine Van Raden, co-founders of Matters That Matter™ LLC. We discovered these two remarkable women when we featured their book, “Letters to Our Daughters,” and we’re thrilled to have them on board. Their goal is to encourage and inspire you to clarify what is most important to you and to reflect those values in every aspect of your life. We know you’ll find rich food for thought here, and hope you’ll leave a comment to let them know the matters that matter to you.

Matters That Matter: Eat Pray Love — or, Life in 3D

Elizabeth Gilbert closed the door on her real life and set out on a yearlong journey to exotic places to find herself. Although most of us don’t have the luxury to do that — which has been the source of some criticism of her book — she did. And so she went for it. I say, “Bravo! Way to go, Liz!” But even if we can’t set out for parts unknown, the title of the book itself is great food for thought. Just three little words with a great big punch suggest that life is not one dimensional.  Eat Pray Love calls for us to live life in 3D.

Eat (Inward)

Eating is something we do for ourselves. No one can do it for us, and it is the call to take care of our inward dimension.

At first blush, the word “eat” makes most of us think of food, a meal, something we put into our mouths and chew. Even when we are talking about food, to eat means something much more. To eat is to nourish ourselves. It is to nosh on that which fills up our hearts, and dine on the delights that give us life. Our bodies need nutritious foods. Our brains must devour new information and chew on stimulating ideas. Our hearts are hungry for love and connection. Our souls are thirsty for meaning. As women, we tend to feed– in every sense of the word – others first, more often and, sometimes, at our own expense, until one day we find that we are starving. And we have no idea what we are hungry for. We have lost our appetite and don’t know where to find it.

When we remember to eat, to fill up with all that we need to be whole, we are better. Better moms, better wives and partners, better lovers, better friends, better professionals, and, ultimately, better selves.

Pray (Upward)

While prayer is often connected to religion, one doesn’t have to be religious or spiritual to pray.

To pray means to offer up, ask for help, give thanks. Prayer suggests that we know we are part of something bigger than ourselves and, as such, have a role to play in the world around us. When we offer up words of gratitude, the world becomes a more gracious and gentle place. As we ask for help, light is shed on our path. In seeking to understand our own purpose, we are able to find a way to touch the world that is within our grasp.  By offering up our gifts and talents to the world, we affect people’s lives and miracles occur.

Love (Outward)

When it comes to life — when we boil it all down – what matters more than anything, the bedrock of all bedrocks  is love.

To love is to care deeply for.  Perhaps the best question we can ask at any time, in any situation is “What would love do?”  Whether we are considering a person or the planet, our money or our time, a conflict or a crisis, a stranger or a beloved friend, we can’t go wrong with love. Which doesn’t mean that love is always warm and soft.  Sometimes love is hard and cold, like when we have to tell a painful truth or stand up to a bully. There are times when real love directs away from rather than closer to. But no matter what love calls us to do, if we choose love, everybody wins.

So, when it seems that life is too complicated, remember that all you really have to do is … Eat. Pray. Love.


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image of Molly Davis

The eSSSence of Molly Davis

Style: I adore my family, worn blue jeans and cowboy boots.
Substance: I am a highly successful corporate trainer.
Soul: As a gifted teacher, I combine practical strategies and real life stories with humor and heart.


Matters That Matter: Connected by Common Threads

Men and women.  As different as…. night and day, cats and dogs, sweet and sour, hot and cold.  It is true, we are pretty darn different animals. The differences have become the stuff of late night TV monologues, stand-up comics and stereotypical sitcoms.  We get a lot of mileage out of bashing the other sex, and a good  laugh at one another’s expense. Yet it isn’t all fun and games. There is often a serious undercurrent to all of our jokes and jabs. Men are asked to act more like women, to be more sensitive and communicative. Women are expected to toughen up and quit taking things so personally. As a result, we can find ourselves at odds with one another, and uncertain of ourselves.

The truth is, men and women are different. That is good news. Let’s begin with basic anatomy. Start at the waist and go any direction you want. The terrain looks mighty different. And so it should if we want to avoid extinction. Our brains are wired differently. Emotionally, we tend to respond and conduct ourselves in vastly different ways. Thank the gods and goddesses. Those differences have kept us alive and evolving for hundreds of thousands of years!

If we focus on the ways in which we are dissimilar, and wish that “they” were different, we miss a much deeper point.  That point is that we have so much more in common than those things that work to keep us apart. We are all connected by common threads regardless of which side of our shirt the buttons are sewn or whether we pee standing up or sitting down. Regardless of gender, we seek to connect to others in meaningful ways. We look to live in relationships with others whom we love and trust.  No matter what, we want to be seen, known and loved for who we are, not who others expect us to be.  We strive to find meaningful work and a way to use our gifts and talents, thus making a difference in the world that only we can make. We feel happy and sad, loved and rejected, courageous and terrified, encouraged and despondent. That doesn’t make us men or women…. it makes us human beings.



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image of Molly Davis

The eSSSence of Molly Davis

Style: I adore my family, worn blue jeans and cowboy boots.
Substance: I am a highly successful corporate trainer.
Soul: As a gifted teacher, I combine practical strategies and real life stories with humor and heart.


Matters That Matter: Traveling Home

If I have to be honest, I really don’t like to travel very much. I am a homebody. The idea of planning, packing and heading out the door does not call to me.

Years ago, Kristine and I took part in a creativity workshop. The final exercise was fantastic! We were all given a large blank poster, glue, scissors and mountains of magazines to pour through. Our assignment was to create a visual picture of our Perfect Day. There were no limitations. Money, time, energy, distance — none of those mattered. We were simply to craft a day of perfection. The only rule was that we could not talk to one another or look at each other’s creations. For the next two hours we were all silently immersed in our own imaginations.

Finally, we all gathered together, and took a “trip” around the room, learning about one another’s ideas of the best day ever. It was fascinating. The days, while colored in with different details, went like some version of this: “I’d start my day in Paris. Sitting on a balcony, wrapped in a thick, white robe I would sip espresso and nibble on fresh, warm croissants from the bakery below. After a tour of the Louvre, a private jet would transport me to Italy where I would spend a few hours in Pompeii and lunch in Tuscany with plenty of good red wine. The day would continue with a late afternoon safari in Tanzania, followed by dinner on the veranda overlooking the Serengeti. A dark, handsome masseuse would massage me to sleep to the sounds of the African night.”

Every woman had a different vision. And, every one of those images took them somewhere… away.  Except for me and Kristine.  We never left home. That might be part of the reason we were drawn to one another as friends all those years ago. While different in detail, each of us envisioned a day which allowed us to be home. Our days had time to move slowly, connect with those we loved, and included healthy doses of time to ourselves. The day began and ended right where we were.

Now, no day was better than the other, and I am emphatically not saying that travel isn’t a marvelous experience. It is!  We live on a magnificent planet, inhabited by miraculous human beings.  Adventure and exploration are part of this thing called life.  Every time we take a trip, we have the opportunity to meet new people, consider new ideas, learn to be flexible and brave. We all need to see beyond our own version of the world, challenge our beliefs and perspectives. We must learn to find the common threads that connect us as human beings in the midst of our differences. Travel is a terrific way to do that.

Home — the place we create for ourselves — can allow us a different kind of travel. It can offer travel inward, into our thoughts and emotions, our spirits and our creativity. There are so many demands to leave the house. Work, errands, committees, dates, volunteering, not to mention vacations, holiday trips and family reunions.  All of these can become distractions that take us away not only from our homes, but from ourselves.    The greatest adventure of all is the journey of self-discovery. Not so that we can become self-absorbed, but rather self-aware. That awareness isn’t “out there.” Our trip of a lifetime might just be right here.


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image of Molly Davis

The eSSSence of Molly Davis

Style: I adore my family, worn blue jeans and cowboy boots.
Substance: I am a highly successful corporate trainer.
Soul: As a gifted teacher, I combine practical strategies and real life stories with humor and heart.


Matters That Matter: Making Over “Makeovers”

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When we hear the word “makeover," most of us think of improving our physical appearance, as well as making adjustments to our psychological, spiritual, and professional selves.  The implication is that who we are, as we are, is not enough.  We are in need of improvement, often extreme improvement. We... read full story →