I am the mother of a dancer, a long-time dance fan and avid consumer and patron of the arts, so I wasn’t going to miss this film even knowing nothing but the title. I must admit I don’t watch the above mentioned shows, as the competition is too much for me. I am more sad and devastated for the talented but disqualified than I am happy and uplifted for the “winners.” Angst and tears are involved by the first commercial break so, for my own sanity and that of my family, I resist the urge to watch. During the Olympics, I am often reduced to a tearful mess, unable to leave the couch, riveted to every athlete profile no matter the sport or the time of night it airs. It is a weakness of mine.

My reaction to this film was no different. I started crying at the introduction to Michaela DePrince’s story of adoption from war torn Sierra Leone and scenes of her suburban Jewish mother hand dying the undergarments and flesh netting of her tutus brown to match her skin. I winced at the barbaric devices still used to “enhance” and “train” the dancers’ feet to arch; I gasped and shielded my eyes when young dancers fell, crushed by the pressure to perform; and my heart broke for Joan Sebastian Zamora and his mother who use their precious phone card’s minutes to repeatedly say “good bye” and “I love you” over and over, neither one able to bear hanging up first. Granted, my reactions were extreme, but I share this information to illustrate that you will not be lulled to sleep in your seat by fanciful dance scenes and classical music. This is not a passive experience; it is competitive sport, high art, high stakes, high emotions. And the athletes and artists are children and young adults.

My favorite aspect of this film is not only the fact that it exposes the dedication to the art, the craft of ballet dancing and the athleticism and training of ballet dancers, but that it honors the tradition and history of the art form while at the same time exposing the process as completely modern in every way, for better or worse. The “worse,” you can imagine, is the pressure on these kids and their families, both emotionally and financially, as well as the reality of the lack of funding and the hard fact that there is more talent than there are positions available. The “better” is the changing shape and color of the dancers. Oh,sure, there was a “classical” ballerina featured in the film, but only one tall thin blonde beauty. The other dancers came in all shapes, sizes and ethnicities. I loved that the ballet companies of today and tomorrow have eyes and hearts wide open for dancers who are physically, ethnically and socio-economically diverse.

This is not your grandmother’s PBS ballet. The movie is extreme sports, prime time entertainment and reality TV all rolled into one inspiring, enjoyable movie theater experience. Don’t miss it! And take a sports fan — someone who doesn’t think they like ballet. They’ll thank you.

Better yet, go to the ballet. Help preserve this art form, and provide an audience for these dancers. It’s the least we can do.

Cheryl writes the popular “Dear Sugar” advice column on The Rumpus.net, and her highly-anticipated collection of those beloved columns, Tiny Beautiful Things, will be out in July. We’ll talk about all that at some other time but right now, here’s my conversation with Cheryl about Wild — which, by the way, has already been optioned for the big screen, with Reese Witherspoon scheduled to play the author herself.

I was absolutely blown away by Wild. I hung on to every word and totally lived vicariously through your journey, stunned that you were actually able to accomplish what you did. Looking back on it, are you surprised you made it through?! What were your feelings while writing and reliving it?

Thanks so much for your kind words, Lois. Looking back, I laughed a lot and shook my head in amazement too. There were some times that were really tough, but I never felt like I was in the wrong place when I was hiking the PCT. I was determined to do what I set out to do. I felt very nostalgic as I wrote Wild. I wanted to go back in time and hike the trail all over again.

Your story perfectly represents the philosophy, “It’s the journey, not the destination.” Why was it important for your journey to really be a journey and to take place outdoors doing something you had never done before?

When I decided to hike the PCT I was in a really difficult place in my life. My mom had died young nearly four years before. I was on the verge of getting a divorce. I was having sex with too many of the wrong people. Doing drugs because I could. I needed to shake myself out of the sad spiral my life had become. Instinctually, I knew I needed to go to the wilderness to do that, to find my center again. Later, I realized I needed the risk part of it too. I needed to do something demanded that I test my higher self—my strength and courage and determination. I needed to be humbled and schooled and ultimately taken in by the natural world.

It’s been 17 years since you made your hike. What made you decide to write about it all these years later?

I’m not interested in memoir that simply reports what happened. Memoir demands we tell a deeper story, that we connect the specific experience to the universal narrative and so until I had something to say about my hike—about what it meant to me and therefore us—I had no interest in writing about it. I needed to live more deeply into my life beyond the hike before I could understand and articulate what that time meant to me. Plus, my first book—a novel called Torch—had to be written. I honestly could not have written any book before I wrote that. Torch was the book I was writing in my head while I hiked the PCT, not Wild.

My husband was packing for a trip to Nepal while I was reading your book, and all I could think about was your backpack! I kept trying to convince him to lighten the load so he didn’t end up with a backpack the size of yours! Can you tell us a little about Monster and its significance?

Monster was the nickname I gave my really heavy backpack. We had a love-hate relationship all through my hike. I took too much stuff at first—way too much stuff—but even after I lightened my load a few weeks into my hike, it was still very heavy. But I came to peace with that. Monster was the literal weight I had to bear. Accepting that allowed me to learn how to bear other, figurative weights as well. The question was always, “How will I bear what I cannot bear?” I asked that about my pack. And I asked that about my life too.

I love that you brought books with you and that they kept you company at night. Do you think you took the right books with you? Would the invention of the Kindle have made a difference?!

Yes, I took the right books with me. Every book I read on the trail has a special place in my mind and heart. I don’t know that I’d carry an e-reader on the trail if I were hiking today. I don’t think so. I’ve never read an e-book to this day and I have no intention of doing so.

What was the hardest part of the trip for you?

How badly my feet hurt. I was in real pain. Let’s put it this way: years later, when I was giving birth to my first child without the aid of drugs of any sort, when I was deep in the pain of labor, I remembered my time on the PCT. I called on that experience to get me through. Don’t get me wrong: natural childbirth was about a thousand times more painful than my hike on the PCT, but it’s the only other experience I had where I had to truly endure something physically that was quite painful over a long period of time.

I would have been terrified about so many things on that trip. I was especially frightened for you when you ran into those two creepy guys. What scared you the most and how did you get over those fears?

Those guys scared me. I genuinely thought things could go very wrong that evening. I mostly wasn’t afraid. I did not allow it. My biggest fear was that I wouldn’t be able to do it, that I’d fail.

As you kept going, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop – which it literally did! That shoe has a starring role on your book cover. How did that event effect your attitude?

By then I had been through so much with my boots—they were too small, they hurt my feet and so on—that as galling as it was to lose them, I also saw the comedy in it. Sometimes you just have to give yourself over to a situation. I had to do that with my boots. And I did make the best pair of shoes out of duct tape that probably anyone ever has.

In hindsight, what would you have done differently? Would you even have gone on the trip at all, knowing now how difficult it would be?

Yes. I would do it over and over again. But I would take less stuff. I’d research it a bit more. It’s easier to do that now, with the Internet. My lack of preparation wasn’t entirely my fault. There were far fewer resources available then than there are now.

What was the most meaningful part of the trip for you?

There is no one meaningful part. The whole journey is like one big giant jewel I get to carry around inside me until the day I die. That means a lot.

Do you keep in touch with any of the people you met on your trip? What’s been their reaction to your book?

I’ve kept in touch with some of them and others have found me since the book has been published. It’s been wonderful to reconnect. I’ve had nothing but positive experiences and reactions from those in the book. Many of them tell me that reading Wild made them feel nostalgic about their hikes too.

Since finishing Wild, I often find myself saying, “If Cheryl Strayed could hike the Pacific Crest Trail, I can certainly …” which is usually followed by something ridiculously simple like “stay on the treadmill for 15 minutes.” Do you say the same thing to yourself? How has the journey empowered you?  

Hah! Thanks. That’s sweet. I do remind myself of that a lot. In fact, I even did that on the trail. I would say: Who is tougher than me? No one. Even though I KNEW that wasn’t the case. It was my way of encouraging myself. This is why it’s so important to do these sorts of things. We get to prove our own power to ourselves. We get to run on the steam of a positive experience rather than a negative one.

What advice do you have for any woman considering a similar solo hike?

Do it. Reject the narrative that tells us women shouldn’t dare to do things alone. And I wouldn’t just direct my advice to women. Men need to hear that too.

One final question – how are your poor feet?!

They’re fine! Fully recovered. That’s the most common question I’ve gotten from people these past couple of months, as I’ve been traveling around the country on my book tour. The body is an amazing thing. It regenerates.

E.L. James, whose real name is Erika Leonard, is a British mom of two teenage sons, she’s been married for over 20 years and is a former television production manager.  She looks like she could be one of your dearest friends from way back, bundled up in a comfortable but lumpy old sweater wearing comfortable flats, her long dark hair quickly bound up into a clip for convenience.  She has a twinkle in her eyes when she smiles that seems to say, “Life is just one big, fat, fun hell-of-a-crazy-good time, isn’t it?”

We arrived a few hours early to score good seats; plenty of other women also arrived early, ready to party – - some dressed to the nines, champagne in hand, sporting gray ties for the author to sign; others wore customized t-shirts and clutched their paperback books.  There were 700 women at the event, ranging in age from early 20’s to well over 70.  Most were there with groups of friends, and as E.L. James said when she spoke, one of the most wonderful things about the book is the way “it’s bringing women together, and how they’re having a good time talking about it.”

We were at the historic Biltmore hotel in Coral Gables, a lovely old Miami neighborhood.  It is elegant, refined, and ensures any occasion will feel special.  Mitchell Kaplan, founder/owner of the local independent bookstore Books & Books, did a sit-down interview/discussion with the author.  It was casual, friendly, and intimate.

As the interview began, Kaplan asked what it is about the Fifty Shades stories that are touching us so deeply?  James responded, in her charming British accent, that she really doesn’t know.  Some attribute the fascination to the handsome, wealthy, and very sexy protagonist; others attribute it to the rather graphic sexual content.  As E.L. James finally said, “It’s all just noise.  It’s a love story.  That’s how I see it.  I can’t own anyone’s response to it.”

The Q& A with the audience brought forth a host of comments and questions.  There were numerous women’s book clubs in attendance who really just wanted to shriek their love for the author.  There were about 10 men in the audience, one of whom simply said, “I don’t have a question.  I just want to say … thank you.”  He received raucous cheers and applause.

James is an avid reader, although she laughed and shrugged her shoulders when admitting that she hasn’t had much time to read lately.  While writing portions of Fifty Shades, she worked at a BBC comedy show as a production manager, where her responsibilities were primarily contracts, budgeting, and finance.  With no outlet for creativity, she found a place for her imagination in writing fan fiction online, and that’s where Fifty Shades was conceived.

Her inspiration came from the romance novels she read for years, although she also mentioned a fantasy life that makes her giggle.  An audience member complimented James on her descriptive writing style and asked, “When you wrote, who was Christian Grey based on and where can I find him?”  The audience laughed appreciatively, and James responded that he is based on quite a few people, the most recent of whom was spotted in Durban, South Africa.  Hmm …

When asked for advice to wanna-be writers, she was very encouraging.  “Stop thinking about it and just do it,” she said.  “Write anything … a scene, an outline, etc.  You don’t need to start at the beginning.  The more you do, the better you will get.”  She indicated that each book in the trilogy took her 6 – 7 months to write.

E.L. James recently sold the movie rights for Fifty Shades to Universal Studios and Focus Features.  She claims that the movie will be “a collaborative effort” and that she will have some say in it. A popular question at the event was who James thinks should play the protagonist Christian Grey; she declined to respond.  Another audience member asked how the movie version could be done to avoid compromising the book, especially relative to the erotic sex scenes.  When James responded that “ there is a way to do eroticism, but not in depth,” the audience groaned.

In response to other questions, she hasn’t promised another book in the Fifty Shades series, but says it is a distinct possibility; she would also like to write other fiction.  She needs a break from Christian and Anastasia; as she said, “Those kids are getting on my nerves.”

My friends and I opted not to wait in the lengthy line for book signing once the interview ended; rather, we had dinner at the Biltmore.  After finishing our meal, we headed out to find none other than E.L. James walking down the hotel hallway – alone!  Of course, we accosted her.  Nicely.

One of our group, Robbin, asked her the question we’d been anxious to pose all night.  In our book group, we had just read Jane Eyre; we were shocked and delighted to find numerous titillating similarities in that and the Fifty Shades trilogy, so we questioned how much influence Jane Eyre had on James’ book.  She hesitated, said she wasn’t really sure as she had read it years ago along with many other British classics.  Then she added, “I think it’s actually more of a Beauty and the Beast story.”  And with that, she turned on her heel, and headed down the hall.

As she entered the hotel bar, we heard the squeals of more women, a book group that had been sitting there, drinking and talking, for hours.  They had accosted James also.  We followed her; she sighed, took pictures with all of us, and agreed to sign a few more books.  The message in her signature line is “Laters, Baby.  ELJ.”

The next day, I re-read Beauty and the Beast; it was quite entertaining to find that its storyline does match many elements of Fifty Shades.  ”A tale as old as time, ever just the same, ever a surprise …” Ah, there are some things in this world that are constants, and a good story we can share with friends is certainly one of them.  Thank you, E.L. James, for creating an experience that we will always cherish.

The Dead of Summer takes place on the most isolated island in the Baltic Sea, and starts with a husband and father of who mysteriously murdered while taking a morning jog during a vacation. Author Mari Jungstedt has sold more than three million books and has been called “one of Scandinavia’s best crime writers” by The Times.

Death of a Carpet Dealer, a Swedish carpet salesman is brutally murdered while on a business trip in Turkey. Karin Wahlberg is considered Sweden’s number one author of medical thrillers, and this title is one of seven in her series featuring Police Commissioner Claes Claesson and his wife who is a doctor at Oskarshamn Hospital.

Killer’s Island is another haunting page-turner in the popular Detective Inspector Maria Wern series. Author Anna Jansson writes in clean and chilling prose about a mythic town in which the police are under observation by a killer.

From the publishing team behind Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy comes The Gingerbread House, the first in Carin Gerhardsen’s Hammarby series of crime novels that take place in the southern parts of Stockholm. With its timely theme of schoolyard bullying, this thriller will leave you thinking long after you’ve finished reading.

One lucky winner will win all four of these titles in their choice of e-book or paperback. For a chance to win, simply fill out the form below. You may enter once a day until the contest ends on May 27 at midnight Pacific time. Winner will be notified by return email.

LUNAFEST will take place in 150 cities this year, and we suggest you get on their site right now and buy tickets to the event near you. Proceeds benefit the Breast Cancer Fund, an organization which focuses on prevention and to which we will be donating all the money we used to contribute to Susan G. Komen, as well as local non-profits. In San Diego, the event was hosted by Boobs on the Move, a grassroots effort to empower people to stop breast cancer through active prevention and generosity.

Amy and I attended the San Diego event last week with our great friend, Elin Stebbins Waldal, author of Tornado Warning: A Memoir of Teen Dating Violence and Its Effect on a Woman’s Life. We were blown away by every film. Here’s Amy’s take on the evening:

LUNAFEST is an event custom-made for me, featuring shopping for a cause at the raffle table in the lobby of a historic theater, soulful live music, an audience full of women and nine female-powered films. I was in my element!

The program started with a wonderful performance by singer Laura Roppe, author of Rockin’ the Pink, her autobiography of being a cancer survivor and former lawyer turned singer. If her songwriting skills are any indication, it is sure to be a great read. I was especially touched by the songs “I’m Still Here” and “Little Daughter.” I was seated behind Laura’s daughter and her grandmother, who were both glowing while Laura sang these very personal songs.

The films were as diverse as the female population itself, ranging from the quirky stories of Worst Enemy and A Reluctant Bride to serious issues explored in Susan Koenen’s I am a Girl, about an amazingly brave 13-year-old girl trying to figure out how to tell the boy she has a crush on that she was actually born male, and Every Mother Counts: Obstetric Fistula about a devastating effect of poor maternal healthcare in countries like Bangladesh and Tanzania. Intimate slices of lives are examined in The Wind is Blowing on My Street, which was shot in Tehran; Missed Connections which may result in some fairy tale happily ever afters; and Lori Petchers’ powerful Life Model about a 75-year-old nude model whose acceptance of her own body empowers female viewers of all ages. One of my favorite films was Andrea Dorfman’s How to be Alone which was billed as “a poem and ‘how-to’ manual about being alone.” You can watch this movie, which stars poet/singer/songwriter Tanya Davis, below.

Every attendee got a goody bag filled with tasty Luna Bars and important information for women of all ages from the The Breast Cancer Fund, which identifies and advocates for elimination of the environmental and other preventable causes of disease. Before I put on my eye makeup or fill up my reusable water bottle, I will visit their website to make sure I am making the best, most informed decision about what to put on and in my body.

What could be better than doing good by going to the movies?!

So if you think Roe v Wade won’t be overturned, think again. That is likely to be high on the agenda of a Republican president, especially since that seems to be way easier to accomplish than actually getting the economy back on track.

Because complacency is dangerous and women need to really understand what’s at stake for themselves, their daughters and their granddaughters, I wrote an article about the San Diego rally for our local papers, the Carmel Valley News, the Del Mar Times and the Solana Beach Sun.

Please click here to read the article, and share it with all the women in your life — and the men who support them.

There are lots of great resources out there to learn more about the issues and stay on top of all the proposed legislation that effects women. Here are some of the ones we turn to:

. UniteWomen.org and UniteWomen.org on Facebook

. National Organization for Women

. ERA Now on Facebook

. One Million Pissed Off women on Facebook

To sign the petition to remove the time limit for ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment, click here.

To make sure you and your daughters are registered to vote, click here.

Don’t forget what it cost the suffragists to win us the right to vote.

Need more inspiration? Watch this powerful speech by Hillary Clinton:

Believe in Yourself ~ Inspire Others ~ Spread Joy! is filled with beautiful black and white images and inspiring quotes all written by my dear friend, Amy Wise. You may remember Amy from the popular post she wrote for us, Why My Husband Won’t Be Seeing “The Help.” 

Amy is a great writer and a truly special person. We met on Facebook but have become very close friends in real life, getting together every week with the equally special Kim LePiane, whose Soul Sisters is a breath of fresh air in this chaotic world. Amy and Kim are two of the most supportive women I know and their optimistic approach to life is infectious, important and totally motivating.

Reading Amy’s book is like getting the perfect pep talk from your most trusted friend. Her words will inspire, encourage and empower you, and will give you the confidence to make all your dreams come true. Amy’s last name is “Wise” for a reason!

What makes this book even more amazing is the story behind it, which you can read about in her Introduction. During a devastating five-year struggle with illness, legal battles and financial issues all caused by the shocking realization that the water she had been using in her store was actually reclaimed sewer water, Amy started jotting down quotes to express her feelings. Focusing only on the positive, these ideas got her through the darkest times of her life – and they can get you through yours, too. The fact that she was able to turn her thoughts into a book that has been on Amazon’s Top 100 New Motivational Books since it came out a month ago is proof of the power of her words.

To quote Amy herself, “Dreams become reality when we open our eyes and take the steps to get there.”

Priscilla’s gorgeous painting is now hanging in the Townley Galley in Laguna Beach, but the bracelets themselves can hang from your own wrists!

The bracelets, which make a unique and meaningful Mother’s Day gift, used to be flip flops. Whenever we wear them – which is pretty much all the time – we get tons of compliments and are asked lots of questions about what they’re made of, where they came from and how other people can get them, too. We’ve stocked up so you can help support UniquEco’s award-winning efforts to keep old flip flops from clogging up landfills while creating a sustainable economy in a remote village in Nairobi.

Read more about our Formerly Flip Flops campaign, then buy an armful of bracelets for yourself, your mom, your daughters, your friends, teachers, graduates, hostesses, everyone you know! They are great conversation starters, and they add a little pop to any outfit while improving the lives of people on the other side of the world.

Bracelets are only $12 apiece or 3 for $30, plus $2 shipping regardless of how many you’re ordering. To order, simply send us a check made out to “Four Friends For Good” and include your name, mailing address, phone number, email address and quantity of bracelets you’re ordering. Send your order to StyleSubstanceSoul, 3525 Del Mar Heights Road #582, San Diego, CA 92130. If you have any questions, write to us at info@stylesubstancesoul.com.

Psychology, perception, reality – those are topics usually found in self-help books, not movies! What is it about the times we live in that made it so important for you to want to share this information on the big screen to a mass audience?

Well I think if people watch the news, they see every day so many of the cultural problems that are a function of stress.  Violence, divorce, wars, suicide, crime are all consequences of a perception of life that is less than ideal, less than hopeful.  It is indicative of people who do not believe in themselves and/or trust life.  I wanted to share with people through our most popular medium what the mechanics of perception actually are, what the power of our imagination is, and why people should have a lot of hope for their and our collective future.

Why did you choose to do the movie as a docudrama rather than a documentary? You feature such prestigious names from fields like neuroscience, biochemistry, quantum physics – and they’re all surprisingly fascinating and easy to understand! Why did you feel the need to have an underlying story being acted out in between the experts’ “testimony?”

As a professional speaker and trainer of emotional intelligence and self-awareness for over a decade, I have learned that people understand and learn better through story and metaphor than they often do through direct teaching.  I thought it would be great to not only present fascinating science that can change people’s lives, but also illustrate it through a story designed to be emotionally compelling and illustrative of how it can actually happen.

How do you answer viewers who are wary of the idea that changing their perception will actually change their reality? Can you give them one simple example?

Sure. Most mothers know how a change in perception changes reality.  I often hear them say that the first time they had a baby they become surprised by the number of commercials on tv that ‘suddenly” appear about babies, or they notice that there are new babies everywhere, or that they meet so many “new” people who also have babies.  Well of course the world around them didn’t change a bit.  All that changed was their perception of the world, and “suddenly” the external world looks altered and begins to show up more relevant to the change that transpired inside of them.  This kind of change is also true when we shift perceptions from ones of judgment, negativity, anxiousness, and fear to perceptions of peace, creativity, imagination and love.

What about those who do believe that’s true but don’t know how to change the way they look at something? What’s a practical way for someone to start doing that?

As we outline in the movie, they need to make what is called a “Content to Process Shift.”  What this means is that they need to begin to focus less on the story lines of their life, or the content of their thoughts, and begin to focus on the patterns of their thinking and reactions to the story lines of their lives.  When they can really notice the “way” they think every day, rather than focusing on “what” they think about, then they can begin to see if those patterns are healthy, creative, positive and imaginative.  And if they are not, they can begin to reframe their patterns of thinking and begin to more consciously perceive life in ways that inspire or uplift them by simply imagining a perception of the same facts that creates those results.

What is the one message you want audiences to come away with?

Don’t underestimate the power of your imagination.  We imagine everything, because we do not have the mental faculties to really “see” reality.  So learn to imagine consciously and align your actions and choices with the highest and grandest imaginations you have for yourself.  And if you do so, and you are consistent and patient and trusting, life and people around you will conspire to turn your highest imaginations into reality.

You left a high-powered law career to focus on your passion for “guiding the vision and development of people and organizations.” That’s a huge change. What was that catalyst for that decision? 

Helping one side to “win” in a legal battle was not the highest imagination I had for myself.  I wanted to use my skills as a lawyer to bring people together, to inspire them, and help them find creative and imaginative ways to resolve their obstacles.  And to do that through writing, speaking and making movies was an imagination that inspired me, motivated me, and made me want to wake up each day with a smile on my face.

We have posts nominated in four categories, and you can vote once for each one. (If you vote more than once for a post, your original vote will be deleted and you’ll have to vote for it again!)

In order to vote, you have to be logged in to BlogHer. This means you have to set up a username and password — that’s it. They won’t put you on mailing lists — they just want to make sure you’re legitimate. Honestly, it only takes a few minutes to do this and you can register at any of the posts below.

Just click on each of the links below which will take you to the exact page to vote for that post. On each page there’s a button that says “vote.” Just click it once and you should see the number of votes go up by one

Here are the links to each nominated post:

(Op Ed) - It’s Time to Re-Think Pink - http://www.blogher.com/its-time-re-think-pink

(Humor) - My Handbag, Myself - http://www.blogher.com/my-handbag-myself

(Identity) - Lois’ Mom, Style Icon - http://www.blogher.com/lois-mom-style-icon

(Parenting) - Lois and Michael on Becoming Empty Nesters - http://www.blogher.com/lois-and-michael-becoming-empty-nesters

We will be attending BlogHer in New York City in August, and it would mean so much to us to be named one of the Voices of the Year.

Thanks so much for your support. We can’t tell you how much we appreciate it.